Finding the Right Path: Navigating Family Language Learning Strategies
By Les Huysmans
In many a conversation with parents and parents-to-be, I am asked the same question, when they know that my children speak three languages fluently and are learning a fourth:
‘How do you do it, because my child hates other languages?’
The truth is that when our kids were born, we had early on decided on a strategy, because we expected it to work well for our situation, and it turned out we were right. There are several steps to consider when deciding on a strategy for language exposure for your children.
Step 1: Decide What Your Goals Are
The first, and maybe most critical, step in creating a successful family language strategy is to decide what your goals are — what do you want to achieve, and what do you want your child to achieve?
There is sufficient research available that confirms that having clear language learning goals is essential for raising multilingual children. This step involves deciding which languages you want your child to learn, what level of fluency you expect them to achieve, and whether you want them to be able to read and write in the language.
This is a step that is often overlooked, since it is easy to assume that what works for others will also work for you. Know what you want and need, and keep these goals realistic and achievable to avoid discouraging your child or setting them up for failure.
Step 2: Take Stock of Family Language Resources
Next, have a good look at who is available in your family — who speaks which language, and to which level.
This step involves figuring out who in the family can speak which languages, how much time each person will spend with the child, and what the school language will be. Write down all the people and their languages, even if someone does not speak them fluently.
Research suggests that the languages the parents use, and their proficiency, significantly impact multilingual children’s language development. Add to that the level of support they receive from their community, and you have the main pillars upon which your child’s language learning will be built.
Step 3: Expand the Circle (if needed)
In some families you may have two or three languages available, and so that might suffice. However, there will be many families who want their children to learn languages which they do not speak themselves — so what to do then?
If your family language resources are not sufficient, expand the circle to look at friends and relatives who might be able to help with language exposure.
Research has shown that the social networks of parents play an important role in the language development of bilingual children. In fact, grandparents and other family members can be particularly effective sources of language exposure, as they often have a strong emotional bond with the child and are motivated to help them learn the language.
Social networks can also help parents. Maybe you know someone at work or at the local sports club who speaks other languages. Consider all potential social situations available to you beyond immediate family, and make efforts to involve friends and relatives in your child’s language learning goals.
This can be through encouraging regular communication, arranging visits or holidays with relatives (for example, I learned more in 2 months of summer holidays spent in a French-speaking area than I learned in the whole next year of French in school), or even enrolling your child in language classes or programs offered by the community.
Step 4: Align Your Goals With Reality
After analysing your (expanded) family situation, the next step is to align your goals with your resources.
As mentioned earlier, keep your language learning goals realistic and achievable, based on the level of exposure your child will have to each language. If you have set the bar too high or if it becomes too boring too quickly, your child may just be turned off by learning languages altogether.
Step 5: Choose a Language Strategy
Finally, choose a language strategy that works best for your family.
According to research, no single strategy is best for all families, and the choice of strategy depends on the family’s unique circumstances, including the languages spoken, parents’ proficiency levels, and cultural context. The selected strategy should provide a balanced exposure to each language, ensuring that the child has ample opportunities to use and practice each one.
The most commonly used strategies are:
One Person One Language (OPOL)
Each parent consistently speaks a different language to the child.
For example, one parent may speak English and the other may speak Thai. The child associates each language with a particular person and will be motivated to learn both.
Minority Language at Home (ML@H)
The family’s minority language is spoken exclusively at home, while the majority language is used outside the home.
For example, if the family lives in a Thai-speaking community but wants to promote English, then English is spoken at home while Thai is spoken at school and in the community.
Time and Place (T&P)
Each language is spoken in specific situations or at specific times.
For example, a family may speak English at breakfast and dinner, and Mandarin Chinese during family game night or on weekends.
Two Parents Two Languages (2P2L)
Each parent speaks a different language, and both languages are spoken in the home.
This can be effective if both parents are fluent in different languages and committed to consistent use. Of the four, this one often requires the most determination.
Each of these brings its own challenges and benefits, but in most cases, the pros and cons are related to the family’s goals and resources.
Our Family’s Approach
In our family, we have stuck to a modified version of OPOL: my wife speaks Thai to the children when they are alone, and I speak Dutch with them. When we’re all together, we speak English.
This way the kids are exposed to three languages on a continuous basis, and after several years, I can say this has worked well — they are fluent in all three.
We initially tried to add a fourth language (a Chinese language, but not Mandarin) through extended family, but this didn’t work out. It became clear they wouldn’t get sufficient exposure. We then switched to Mandarin, which they now learn through community members, language apps, and YouTube videos — with some support from my wife, who also speaks Mandarin.
Final Thoughts
In the end, it all depends on you — your goals, and what’s available to you and your child.
See each language opportunity as a fun challenge, not something that must be achieved at all costs. Your child is more likely to enjoy the learning.
If this sparked anything — questions, rants, good old curiosity — come say hi via the About Les page.